The Civil War
by cancer216
Summary: What really happened during the Civil War? Well let's say there was a lot of sadness, and a little bit of magic.


The Civil War

One time after the Revolutionary War, America went to England's house for tea. He came to the door and rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. So, America found the spare key under the mat, and let himself in.

When he entered, he found a book on a table; it looked old and about to break. Then being the kind hero he was, said, "I am going to fix this book and let it know the wonders of eating a hamburger, because I'm the hero!"

He then got out a bottle of ketchup and started to "glue" a page that had fallen out of the book, back in. As he was "gluing" he started to read the page. It said: When two are one, and the one becomes two, then shall he split, and then fight, like the git of a person he is.

After America said these words aloud, a strange blue and red light surrounded America. The book fell from his hands. "Let's go terrorize some countries!" said America, with a rather peculiar red shade of skin. He walked out of England's house.

"Ha, ha, ha!"

England came out of the dark corner he had been hiding in and picked up his spell book from off the ground.

"Now that I have cast America with a split-personality spell, it'll look like he's completely insane, and then I, as his father will reclaim my son and erase his memory of becoming America, and sculpture him in to the _un_-dependent country I've always wanted him to become! All is well Flying Mint Bunny, all is well…"

Meanwhile…

The peculiar red-faced America was breaking China's Hello Kitty dolls.

"Ha, ha, ha China. Who's the karate master now?" yelled America.

China was crying in a corner, "You cruel man. You have no right to break any man's dolls."

After a few more seconds of Hello Kitty dolls being broken, America then regained his usual shade of color. He saw all the broken Hello Kitty dolls around him and China huddled in a corner crying.

"Oh, my gosh! What happened? Too bad I couldn't have been here, then I could have saved the day as the hero I am!" said America heroically.

"That's the problem," said China. "You were here!"

China then got up, rage in his eyes and stomped over to America. He then assumed a fighting stance.

"Wait, just wait a second China! We don't want to do anything irrational now, do we?" said America.

China then kicked America in the back, pushing him out of the door, and letting America fall flat on his face.

"That's for all my Hello Kitty dolls! And for the record I'm the karate master!" yelled China, slamming the door.

"What was that all about?" questioned America. "Oh, yeah! I still have to go visit Canada!" and with that, America left, with a peculiar shade of red in his face.

"Oh my gosh! America you're about to kill my bear!" screamed Canada, his eyes filling up with tears.

"That's okay, who cares about stupid bears?" spat America, with a knife held up against Canada's bear's neck.

"Please, don't do it! I'll give you anything! Ice cream or hamburgers, just please don't do it!" cried Canada, who was on his knees begging.

America's face softened and he regained his normal complexion. He withdrew the knife from the bear's throat.

"Canada, what's wrong bro? Why are you crying?" asked America.

Canada looked up at America and started to sob uncontrollably.

"I'm telling F-France!" sobbed Canada, and he left.

America also left. "What is going on with me? I can't remember what I'm doing, I can't seem to control my body, what's going on!?"

England came out from behind a tree. "What it looks like, is mental illness. You've got a case of madness."

"Really?" asked America.

"Oh, yes," said England, "It's quite dangerous if you can't control it. Maybe you should come to my house. And rest."

"Hmmmm. That's quite a good idea…"

"Yes, yes. Come let's go", said England, taking America's hand.

As they started to walk, America's face started to regain a red hue… He wrenched England's hand off of him.

"Don't you dare touch me! If you want a fight, you'll get one! Remember I beat you last time!" yelled America.

"Now calm down," said England.

America started to regain his normal skin color. "Yeah, Alfred. Calm down."

"NO!" cried Alfred. "Don't you see America he's trying to kidnap us."

"Oh, shut up," said America. "He's trying to help us. We have a serious mental illness. Remember?"

"I said no, and I mean no! I'm the hero, so I make the decisions!"

"Oh, no you're not! I am", argued America, as he then started to punch Alfred (which in reality was himself).

Alfred then started to punch America. Soon, it was a full on brawl, and they had brought England into it.

"Get your bloody hands off of me!" screamed England. "Flying Mint Bunny, save me!"

England then got out of the fight unnoticed, and said, "Enough is enough! I don't want to raise children like that!"

He then got out his spell book and read a reversal spell on America. The same blue and red light that had surrounded America when he had read from the spell book, surrounded him now.

America opened his eyes. "Whoa, where am I?"

England sighed.

"Hey, Iggy! So here's where you are! I thought you had plain right ditched me for tea-time!" said America laughing.

"Don't call your father Iggy!" yelled England.

"Okay, Dad."

England's face then softened. _He really does remember me_, thought England.

While America and England were having tea, they heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" yelled England.

Someone slammed the door open. France came in with rage in his eyes. He looked at America.

"You hurt my Canada! I will kill you!"

France then started to strangle America.

"Get your bloody hands off my kid! And get out of my house! And anyway, Canada is my child you freak!" exclaimed Britain.

"What's going on?" asked America as he was being shook.


End file.
